Orthodox Jewish Dating
Jewish online dating services often have specialties, such as executive Jewish dating and Jewish senior singles. On line Jewish dating has become incredible successful in the Orthodox Jewish world, and many of those who use such services also keep the many pre-wedding customs in the Jewish world. Orthodox Jewry is especially getting more and more familiar with the online dating scene. Orthodate is a wonderful Orthodox Jewish dating site for religious Jewish singles. Orthodate was developed for the purpose of creating successful matches for Orthodox Jewish Singles all over the world. Read the rules of the Jewish dating game. Building a strong marriage relationship actually begins with a proper approach to dating. Inspired by millennia of tradition and guided by the eternal teachings of the Torah, Jewish communities have developed a unique pattern of courtship and dating. The process is goal-oriented, beautiful and respectful.
From Orthodox Jewish dating customs to Jewish wedding customs, there are many traditions that have been in place in the Orthodox Jewish religion for centuries.
Singles seeking out their beshert, their soulmate, may use a traditional shidduch system, which involves a personalized matchmaker who will delve into the background of each of the Orthodox Jewish singles, to Jewish singles web sites, trips and events.
Either system one in the Orthodox Jewish dating world wishes to use, once they come to the place of their happy engagement, the man and woman who will soon be joined as one may want to know some of the traditions that have to do with their upcoming day.
THE UFRUF
Orthodox Jewish Dating And Marriage
One important custom is the ufruf, which is Yiddish for 'calling up.' The Ufruf refers to the groom being called up for an aliyah, recitation of a blessing over the Torah, in the synagogue. In the Ashkenazi Orthodox Jewish tradition, the ufruf ceremony takes place on the Shabbat before the wedding. In Sephardi and Mizrachi traditions, the ufruf is called the Shabbat Chattan, which means the groom's Shabbat. The Shabbat Chattan typically takes place on the Shabbat after the wedding.
After the Torah reading, the members of the congregation sing songs and to throw soft candies, raisins and nuts at the groom as an expression of the community's wishes for a sweet start for the new life the bride and groom will soon begin together. There are also those who say this is a reference to the verse in Shir Hashirim, the Song of Songs, 'I went down into the garden of nuts to see the fruits of the valley, and to see if the vine had blossomed, to see if the pomegranates were in bloom.'
In many Ashkenazi Orthodox communities, the bride does not attend the aufruf because of the custom for the bride and groom not to see one another for a week before the wedding.
HISTORY OF THE URFUF
It is thought that ceremony evolved from an practice in the Beit HaMikdash, the Holy Temple, in Jerusalem. The Talmud states that, King Solomon built a special gate in the Temple that grooms would go through on the Sabbath to be greeted by family and friends.
THE ORTHODOX DATING COMMUNITY
Orthodox Jewish dating comes with many Jewish dating customs. There are many, many Jewish singles web sites where sincere singles are trying their best to find their beshert. This idea of everyone having a beshert comes from the Talmud, which states that 'Forty days before the creation of a child, a Heavenly Voice issues forth and proclaims the daughter of So-and-So is intended for So-and-So,' implying that the person one will marry is a settled matter, even before they are born. Orthodox Jewish dating singles using Jewish singles web sites or traditional matchmaters should remember this tidbit and know that there is always hope. All of the single Jewish men who are searching for their soul mate will one day have an ufruf to look forward to, if this is a part of their family's tradition.
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Have your say about what you just read! Leave me a comment in the box below.In Does the “Shidduch Crisis” Exist Beyond the Yeshiva World? I tried to define what exactly the term “Shidduch Crisis” describes and whether it applies to the Modern Orthodox community.
Regardless of how you choose to classify it the fact is that there are a significant number of both men and women in the Modern Orthodox community who remain single into their late 30’s, 40’s and beyond and who might never marry.
There’s no question that the challenges are much greater for the women, since the men their age tend to want to date younger women. But that doesn’t change the fact that there are plenty of “older” bachelors either unwilling or unable to marry.
There are many reasons for why people remain single. Choice, luck, expectations and effort all play a role and effect different people in different ways. The purpose of this article is not to judge but rather to clarify and possibly offer a solution to a problem faced by singles who sincerely want to get married ASAP.
So just to be “crystal clear” (remember A Few Good Men?), if you’re not looking to get hitched now or you just get really pissed when anyone writes about this stuff, do your blood pressure (and me) a favor and stop reading now (read this instead).
Great, let’s continue on together.
From listening to many different kinds of Modern Orthodox single women over 35, most of them do give finances a significant place in their decision making process. There’s nothing wrong with that. Actually, it’s a very valid consideration when choosing a spouse — especially given the staggering cost of building and maintaining an Orthodox lifestyle and family (at least in most major US communities).
There are two main problems that result from this financial focus.
The first is that women reject men who they see as not being able to meet their financial requirements. Not ALL women, but enough to make it a major contributing factor to the issue at hand. Now before you start explaining yourselves…it’s ok, I get it. You have every right to choose who to date or not to date. But without judging the decision, it is still a contributing factor.
Orthodox Jewish Dating Sites
The second problem that results from the “financial focus” is that men feel scared that they will not be able to support a family and therefore postpone getting married. This applies even to men who are making a good living. But who’s to say what a “good” living is these days? It all depends on their expectations and the expectations of the women they date. A 29 yr old single Modern Orthodox man might decide to wait a few more years until he makes partner at his firm and starts earning the big bucks before settling down. That way he’ll feel comfortable in supporting his potential family.
So men with great jobs are waiting until they become super successful so that they can provide for the kind of lifestyle that they’ve grown used to seeing from family and friends.
Men who don’t have the big bucks kind of jobs are plain out scared. How the heck are they going to keep up with the Goldbergs on their salary? What if their wives can’t or won’t work when they have young kids? And then mortgages and tuitions…!!! So even though woman consider them “marriage material”, these men are hesitant to take the plunge.
Then there are the men who for whatever reason lost their way along the career path and are just making ends meet? Supporting a family…what the heck?? Women might view them as “nice guys”, but they don’t consider them serious marriage prospects in most cases. There are always exceptions. For instance, if the man is doing something worthwhile and fulfilling that doesn’t pay the “big bucks” — the right woman will appreciate that.
To top everything off, the economy in the US (and the rest of the world) has still not recovered from the great recession. For many life will never be the same as in the years of plenty. Expectations need to be modified ASAP.
Assuming that what I’ve said is correct, that a significant percentage of single Modern Orthodox Jewish men are either postponing marriage or unable to marry because of financial considerations, then there is a viable solution that the community can take to slow down or eliminate this so called “Shidduch Crisis”.
The solution lies in either significantly reducing the financial burden of building an Orthodox home or increasing the earning power of the men in challenging financial straits. Or a bit of both.
I truly believe that if Yeshiva tuition was $5,000/yr instead of $15,000+ and if less expensive yet quality housing solutions were available, then men and women would be much more willing and able to marry sooner.
Orthodox Jewish Dating Customs
Maybe the Modern Orthodox community can learn from their Chareidi brothers how to make this happen. I don’t know the exact figures, but I’m pretty sure Chareidi families in the US are not paying the skyhigh tuitions that the Modern Orthodox, and that’s because the community realizes that it just isn’t possible — so they make it happen.
Orthodox Jewish Dating Site
In the chassidic communities, they build affordable housing units and keep prices down artificially so that families can afford to live in their communities. The Rebbes and community leaders realize that they have no choice but to make it affordable for their people to continue living their lifestyle. They also make an effort to ensure that every member of their community has a parnasah.
Of course there are huge challenges, but I believe that the Modern Orthodox community has the resources and wealth to surmount those challenges. Obviously these solutions would benefit the entire community, not only singles, which is even more of a reason to make them happen.
I believe that financial considerations are a major factor in the Modern Orthodox “Shidduch Crisis” (yes, there are others too).
If you really want to solve the “Shidduch Crisis” maybe the answer lies in offering tuition discounts, inexpensive mortgages and housing subsidies, and better job assistance.
What do you think?